urinal user 63029

Dear urinal user #63029,

We have investigated case DF569V and arrived at the following evaluation.

Granted, the unwritten rules of urinal use are widely known and it hardly seems necessary to repeat them but we shall do so here anyway for comprehensive context:

You always leave at least a one urinal gap or in the case of pee troughs the width of the average man between urinators.

The only exception is when the population occuping the toilet facilities is vast and it is clear to anyone with decent judgement that the golden rule needs to be abandoned for the sake of speed and efficiency. Examples of such occassions include sporting events, concerts, busy nightclubs.

Whilst we can understand the potential embarassment of using the middle urinal, where there are three urinals available and the outside two were already taken. We believe your condition of ‘absolutely bursting’ is a sufficient reason to utilise the middle urinal.

The timing of the outside two urinal users finishing up before you and leaving you standing alone at the middle urinal is unforunate but we believe this is not reason enough for you to feel embarassed.

We daresay that you are not alone in experiencing such a moment and we have decided that this anxiety is not worth the time or energy it may cost you from this day forth. So, please strike it from your archives and never cause yourself such worry again.

Yours sincerely,
Dathanial Gartha
Head of the Department for Worries, Anxiety, and Disconcerted Users Department