Cal’s causes for change

Cal wished he had a tragic event happen to him.

Because then he would have an excuse to change.

It would be his origin story.

Like Batman – Parents killed by a criminal, so he devotes his life to fighting crime.

That’s a story that sells.

Obviously Cal doesn’t want his parents to die for him to lose some weight but maybe a harmless event without long lasting physical damage.

Ugh like fucking Bill. The handsome bastard.

He slipped while drunk, went into a tiny coma, came out of it, swore off drink, then lost 50 pounds, became amazingly fit and now lives off his Instagram following.

Who Cal is ashamed to admit to say is one of them.

Just when Cal was walking along running through his childhood memories for any inspirational incidents, a Deliveroo cyclist came out of nowhere and collided with Cal’s knee sending him spinning into the street.

Cal curled up into a ball instinctively and miraculously remained in the ball untouched.

Internal gasp!

This is the moment we’ve been waiting for.

Here is a wild incident right here. You could become a Lance Armstrong type without the drugs of course.

Said Cal’s hopeful side.

Or an activist for road safety if there is such a thing.

Nah I don’t think this is good enough to launch me 

Said Cal’s dominant side, thereby squashing the ideas.

Let’s crawl to that McDonald’s.

I think I deserve a big Mac.