I think a key part of focus is sensing the 'should do' tasks and letting them go. Reordering the shoe rack never tempts you away from writing but getting rid of the spreading and menacing looking mould, now that could derail your concentration.

I think once you dive into your emotional ancestry and discover all the subtle psychological issues you've been carrying around for years it's easy to slip into a depressed victim state. But in my opinion an empowering reminder is that you have a choice. You can draw a line in the sand and say 'the … Continue reading Emotional ancestry →

Somewhere along the line the three dots together in text became a sarcastic comment Therefore I always have to check who's written the message to correctly gauge the tone 'Ok...cool' at the hands of a Gen Z is nasty. They're being sarcastic. They don't think it's cool at all! But 'Ok...cool' from the hands of … Continue reading … →

You have to be voted in to become a politician. You have to pass the bar to qualify as a lawyer. You have to beat out the competition to be awarded the job. But to become a parent you don't have to do any of that. Arguably the role that can inflict the most damage, … Continue reading Parent test →

Gertrude's identity is very much tied up in doing well at work and even though her boss would say she's doing a great job but Gertrude doesn't believe so. You see Gertrude's image of what success looks like doesn't involve this much feedback and she's taking it as a sign of failure. We can compare … Continue reading Gertrude, Gimli and Gorgomoth →

I think a big problem with institutional learning is the enormous emphasis on conforming to the academic way. Namely: You're not allowed your own opinion. There is very strict pedantic rules around referencing. So much so, that the students feel more scared about screwing up the reference list than focusing on deepening their knowledge.

Juanita loves chocolate but abstains and runs every other day to stay in good health. She never displays frustration at work in case the higher ups ever think of letting someone go. She invests as much as possible in her pension because you know it's wise to prepare for retirement now. She lives in Denmark … Continue reading Juanita’s plans →

The youngest has learnt that if she calls for Dad, her older brothers have to cave to her wishes. She has yet to discover the cost of this tactic. Instead she is screaming for Dad every time things aren't going her way. Driving a wedge further and further between her and her siblings. A few … Continue reading Bringing in Dad →

Some do a 'dry' January, some do 'Veganuary' but what about giving up on the approval of others? Imagine a future you that doesn't panic their way to praise. It won't all come at once. There's no switch to flick for an instant fix. But you could aim to rebalance the weighting in favour of … Continue reading Giving up approval →

Towards the end it appeared that their relationship had disintegrated so badly that Tom Brady and Bill Belichik both used intermediaries to talk to each other. In other words, they perceived communication to require too much emotional labour to navigate through the tensions between them that they sought others to prop up their dysfunctional relationship.