When I was the newbie I was ignored and it felt cold. But now I'm an old soul and without knowing it I am giving the newbies the cold shoulder. A voice eager to justify my actions, said: That's the culture, that's the way things are done around here.

Having an adorable well behaved baby is like playing a slow game of pass the parcel. When you have the baby you know you are the envy of everyone else in the circle who all want a turn.

Pain gets a bad rap. It's always viewed as an awful thing. But Alfred would never have lost the weight and become healthy if it wasn't for that mortifying experience. If the pain didn't create such tension in him he probably would have died of a heart attack by now. Used in the right way, … Continue reading Pain as motivation →

Have you seen Ted Lasso? No, I don't have Apple TV. Have you seen the Rings of Power? No, I don't have Prime. - I think it was easier for past generations to bond over media. When there was only 2 TV channels it was safe to assume everyone in school watched the same programmes … Continue reading Fragmented media connection →

You have been promoted because you were good at the technical stuff but now you are no longer doing the technical stuff.Someone else is.Now you have to sit between senior management and your team.From this point I see a fork in the road.You could merely act as a messenger simply forwarding on requests from senior … Continue reading Middle management pivot →

I think everyone's motivational makeup is as unique as their fingerprint.You can't assume the same carrot and speech that worked for Charlotte will work on Marie Claire.Many a time I have fallen victim to another's  assumption that what lights their fire lights mine.So, instead of assuming and telling them what they should be motivated by, … Continue reading Motivational makeup →

There's looking to always improve and there's never feeling good enough. The first one is an ambition, the second is a sickness. The former is not afraid of mistakes. They calmly incorporate the lesson into the next iteration. The latter is terrified of mistakes, terrified of being found out, terrified of others discovering they are … Continue reading Never arriving →

"It wasn't really about the dishes" At the risk of fuelling your anxiety the subtext can be helpful to consider - what is lurking behind this disproportionate anger? Is there an unaddressed elephant in the room?

The unspoken assumptions.They threaten to derail a good marriage or jeopardize a healthy co-ownership.What standards are you holding the other person to without telling them?You might not even realize you're doing it. These unwritten rules might be deep in your psyche slowly eating away at your relationship.To misquote agent Smith from The matrix:"Find them and … Continue reading Unspoken assumptions →

Why did that accusation hurt so much? All other accusations fell like water off a duck's back but that one hit home because it aggravated a deep seeded fear.