Agony aunts and victims.
They somehow find each other and ensure nothing gets done.
Some animals have mating calls, these people have complaining calls.
The victim has all the problems but won’t hear any solutions.
The agony aunt has all the solutions but can’t convince the victim.
Both play their role perfectly to guarantee they have the same conversation over and over again.
The agony aunt may get fed up with the victim every now and then but give it enough time and they will slip back into old habits.
I imagine both parties must get some sort of benefit out of the interaction otherwise why would they talk in circles all day?
If I were to hazard a guess then I would say the agony aunt relishes the opportunity to help and the victim loves the company.
If you find yourself playing one of these roles I have had some thoughts on how to break the cycle.
If you play the victim then you can either stop complaining or heed the advice and start making a proper effort to fix your issues.
If you play the agony aunt, monitor the next encounter and ask yourself – does this person genuinely want to solve their problems or simply air their problems?
If it’s the latter then walk away. There’s no use trying to help someone who doesn’t want their problems solved. And what’s interesting is that when you stop entertaining the victim there is actually a strong chance they change their behaviour for the better.
Thomas Duggan 