An argument doesn’t happen all at once.
It doesn’t go from pleasant silence to screaming match at the flick of a switch.
No.
The arguer likes to ease you into it.
They like to lay out the bait with a random strong and controversial opinion.
Hmmm juicy!
Then the unsuspecting victim feels it’s their responsibility to offer an opposing view to calibrate the antagonist into a more tolerant frame of mind.
Then they’re off!
The arguer replies to the bait-taking with a defensive and emotionally rich tone.
The victim, not seeing the exit signs, decides to double down and increase their volume.
– – –
I think it helps to view it as bait because then you can avoid the trap.
I also think feeling responsible for correcting world views is a dangerous and exhausting value.
If they want to believe the earth is flat, let them at it!
It’s not worth ruining your day for someone who refuses to be convinced otherwise.
Thomas Duggan 