Heroes and victims

I read something interesting in Mark Manson’s The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck and thought I would share it here. 

There are two main love archetypes, the Hero and the Victim. 

The Victim has learnt that in order to receive love they need to have unsolvable problems, they need drama, they need the attention of others, especially the Hero. 

The Hero has learnt that in order to earn love they must solve the problems of others and the Victim’s problems are perfect for this.

Now I don’t think anyone is pure Victim or pure Hero. I think everyone has a little bit of both in each. 

Whilst I find this observation alone illuminating. I also see these traits extending beyond romantic relationships.

How many people jump the gun as soon as they hear a problem and bombard you with solutions whether you asked for it or not?

How many people infuriate you by having issues they seemingly refuse to solve?

The solution, if you’re interested in hearing, as Mr. Manson outlines, is taking responsibility on the part of the Victim and exercising restraint on the part of the Hero. 

The individual’s problems are the responsibility of the individual.