I remember back in primary school, I used to sit next to this guy, we'll call him Jimothy Belvedere. We had been in the same year for a couple of years but never got to talking before being placed together in that class. What I found interesting was that he opened a whole new category … Continue reading Jimothy Belvedere →

The local community are putting on a Strictly Come Dancing night.The amateur levels are blatantly obvious.The mic keeps getting muffled, the timing of the music is too slow every time, the dancing is basic and slow with lots of obvious mistakes, and the audience keep clogging the aisle hindering the dancers entering and there's many … Continue reading Strictly local →

What's a great piece of art?Despite the fact that the lyrics were written 60 years ago and despite the song being performed by a tribute band, it still has the ability to transform a grumpy old codger into an emotionally fragile cry baby.

I think the problem with house hunting is that we have so many unconscious associations with the concept of 'home' that it can be nigh on impossible to communicate to your partner why you don't want to live in what they think is a perfectly good property. For example maybe deep down in the recesses … Continue reading Home hunting →

"You're not giving me the award because you're an anti-semite aren't you? Admit it!" "No it's because you tried to bribe the selection committee, you use vulgar language constantly, and you tried to sleep with my daughter!" Exposure to someone so out of touch with reality makes one so grateful for the self aware. Seriously, … Continue reading Reality touch →

I've found pointing out people's past comments and how they don't line up with today's comments is great if you're investigating a murder but terrible in regular conversations. It really pricks their ego and engages their defensive side. Best to keep it to yourself and chalk it down to a deeper unknown reason pulling the … Continue reading Inconsistent comments →

Down - according to the housing market we are poor. Up - against all odds we have found an amazing house within our budget and we skip home from the viewing ready to make a bid. Down - we get home to find we've been outbid - devastated Up - the bid is removed and … Continue reading Life rollercoaster →

The great thing about kids is that they're either very honest or their skills of deception haven't developed yet so it's easy to spot the lies. The problem with adults is that there can be so much reading between the lines that you need Sherlock Holmes levels of deduction to be sure what is really … Continue reading Sherlock in conversation →

The stand up comedian made an art form of turning cynical observations into upbeat jokes that we could all laugh at.You might say that's their entire job but some do it in such a way that you feel distance between you and the comedian.There's a meanness to the way they do it that makes the … Continue reading Anger v illogical →

I always thought it was harsh on footballers to reduce their jobs down to 'all they do is kick a football for a living' and then complain that they're getting paid £200k per week. Yes they kick balls for a living but the salary also considers the pressure from their home fans, the in-person abuse … Continue reading 200k a week →