This morning, I very kindly let a big tour bus move into my lane in front of me. He indicated. I left a gap. He moved across. We continued moving forward. I followed, waiting for the flash of the hazards, the well known widely accepted signal for thank you amongst drivers. But it never came.
So instead of feeling good about myself for letting the bus occupy the space in front of me, I was thinking to myself:
“That ungrateful son of a $%£*!, well i’m never doing that again”
It’s funny isn’t? The human desire for recognition of a good deed done. Really you should do it regardless of recognition, but for those of us who haven’t reached this state of enlightenment, the acknowledgement of our generosity is paramount to us.
Learning points
If you are on the receiving end of an act of kindness, remember to show your appreciation because the other person will be looking for it and it’s such an easy way to encourage repeat behaviour.
Also before doing a good deed, agree with yourself that whatever the outcome, you’re doing the deed to feel better about yourself. It makes you feel generous and compassionate. Take John Lennon’s advice:
“When you do something beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps”
Thomas Duggan 