You’ve just been stung. Not by a bee but by a comment.
Someone has stated an opinion about you and it glided past your armour and landed right in your soft and squishy parts.
You try not to show how hurt you are but internally you are reeling from this remark.
Now, here are my thoughts on how to not let this comment ruin your week, month or potentially year.
First question – Do you think they intended to hurt you?
It’s quite possible that the other person was just trying to be funny. They were throwing a few jabs, jabs that they thought were harmless, and they accidentally hit a nerve.
Second question – Do you believe what they said is true?
Clearly this comment has bothered you, so I have to ask the question – Do you, maybe on some level, believe there is merit to this remark?
If you’re afraid what they’ve said is true, then finding contradictory evidence can be a very effective way to resolve the issue.
‘You’re our worst player!’
‘Am I though? I don’t make as many mistakes as Sheila and I definitely score more points than Dan. So no, you know what, I don’t believe that I’m our worst player. Boom!’
(Side note – It could help to have an outside opinion when you are coming up with these hypothesis testing arguments.)
Third question – why rush?
There’s no need to process this all in the moment, only the absolutely amazing can do this all in real time.
Take all the time you need, excuse yourself if you have to, write it all down if it helps.
It’s better to take five minutes to yourself in the immediate aftermath than to let the comment eat at you for the next month.
Thomas Duggan 