Most parents will punish a child’s tantrum with some quiet time on the naughty step and then force an apology so everyone can move on.
Tantrum, quiet time, apology.
A simple process that hopefully drives home to the child that tantrums aren’t acceptable. Or if they do happen they need to be followed with apologies.
A valuable lesson in social protocol that can set you up for life.
The trouble arrives when the kids turn into adults and spot that their parents are no longer around to punish their tantrums or force apologies.
Their ego slips into the gap between quiet time and apology and alters the process.
Tantrum, quiet time, justification apology.
‘Why should I apologize? I did nothing wrong!’
Now there will be times when you don’t need to apologize, your reaction was justified and proportional to the trigger.
There will also be times when you 100% should apologize and I think how you tell the difference is the presence or absence of regret.
Are you proud of the way you acted? If you could do it again would you change anything?
If you feel the sting of regret I think you should apologize.
Thomas Duggan 