The lost idiot

I got lost the other day.

I was supposed to meet someone at a certain time in an unusual place and GPS was unavailable to me.

I was left to grapple with the problem with my own intuition.

I noticed the longer the trial and error method took, the more embarrassed I got, because the whole time I was imagining the other person waiting impatiently for me (because at this point I was late).

Now had it been just me, working it out by myself with no time pressure I think I would’ve enjoyed it a lot more. It would’ve felt like an adventure.

A satisfying challenge that I would’ve taken great pleasure in solving.

But whilst someone was waiting on me I felt the pressure to get it right.

Whilst driving down dead end streets and making 3 point turns I was already rehearsing my apology.

When it’s just you on your own, problem solving feels like play, when someone’s waiting and it’s not going well it feels like you’re an idiot.