John didn’t know this until he was forced to stop but his five year old self had pulled the trigger on the starter pistol and set him on a race.
A race to acquire certain status and achievements as soon as possible.
He only noticed this internal race when he tried to slow down to prevent burnout and felt something driving him on despite the fatigue.
It made sense now why he struggled to stop and fully appreciate a beautiful sunset.
This would require more unpacking but at least he is now aware of it.
