I think the worst thing about confrontations is the living in fear of one. I think most people would be able to handle the spontaneous one but the potential one that spins out in disastrous scenarios in your head as you sense one on the horizon, those are the real torturous ones.

The 'winner' tears the head off everyone around him to win the game. Then once the game is won the 'winner' can relax and hang out like a human again. The thing is, there's a game every week. A team in the premier league plays 38 games a season no matter how bad they are. … Continue reading The infinite one →

To watch the video of Will Smith's reaction to Chris Rock's stand up special or not to watch? To deny wanting to watch it would be silly. There is a caveman inside me and he longs for this savage drama. But the sophisticated and wise half of my brain makes a good case for not … Continue reading Irrationally wanting to watch →

If you've just been snubbed (by that I mean not the malicious kind like you engaged them in conversation, they definitely heard you and decided not to talk back but the pretend not to see you kind) and you don't want to choose anger or resentment I think the following may help. It's likely that … Continue reading Snubbed →

What I love about Ted Lasso is that the football and the results are the distraction. The main focus is the relationships. It's about enjoying the journey and being kind to all those sharing it with you. After all, winning a trophy with people you hate feels like a hollow and empty experience. But going … Continue reading Football is the distraction →

What I thought Hunger Games 2 (the movie) did well was it doubled down on the credibility of the excuse. So many sequels gloss over the reason to stick the protagonist back in a very similar position to the first film but this franchise nailed it. They focused on President Snow's desire to kill Katniss … Continue reading Credible excuse →

In sport I think there's far too much happiness riding on the result. Why not go out to enjoy the day no matter what? Because lord knows death comes for us all, win or lose.

Growing up coaches would always pride themselves on their ability to rev you before a game. They'd try and pull on your heartstrings, appeal to your pride, get you emotionally charged. It was exhausting. I saw it in the pros too. How could I forget Paul O'Connell's speech about putting the fear of god into … Continue reading Revved up or calm? →

I came across a truly positive person once and I challenged their overtly optimistic outlook. I framed it as curiosity but retrospectively it was a way to justify my own negativity. You see if I felt I could get this person to become like me it would validate my 'practical' outlook. A quote from the … Continue reading Persecuting the Pollyanna →

In their great problem solving book (pig wrestling) the authors talk about how framing the problem is very important. Say for example you run a magazine and the sales have steadily fallen in the last 3 months, you might frame this as a sales issue. So you hold a 'spot the difference' meeting where you … Continue reading Framing the pig →